The four kids pitched in with their thoughts of their beloved mother with little tidbits of her personality and life. Things she liked to do; things she loved to do. And how, in her later years, she became courageous enough to try some scary things. Like white water rafting for days, parasailing, and other things I still don’t want to try!
The youngest daughter put it all together and did the speaking. She did really well, right up until the end. When her voice cracked. And the tears started to flow. Another something I could never do. I can’t talk and cry at the same time. Eww! Ugliness!
Since my dear mother-in-law’s funeral not quite two weeks ago (Safe in the Arms of Jesus), something has gnawed at me. I’ve wondered…what would they say about me? What would my family or others say about me when I exit this “khaki coil,” as Hawkeye of M*A*S*H once called dying.
There are things in my life they wouldn’t know about. I mean, things like Matthew 6:3, the “do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (NKJV) kind of things. The kind of helping-others-thing that thrills the soul and “is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35 NKJV) Whether that’s with finances, prayers, clothes, food, time, encouragement, or whatever.
But what do they see of my life? What would they say I like to do? What would they say was my heart’s desire? What have they seen my life *preach* without words? What legacy have I left for them?
My life has changed drastically since 2000. When constant conditions decided to invade my body. So now, sequestered these last years, what could be said? Little. For I live a small life, set apart from most things.
I love these few lines from You’ve Got Mail. As the character known as Shopgirl (Meg Ryan) chats online with NY152 (Tom Hanks), as they are getting acquainted, she writes…
“Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small – and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven’t been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn’t it be the other way around? I don’t really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.”
And my small life? I do it because that’s what is. I make the best of what I’m confronted with. With what the Lord allows in my life right now. Still praising Him every day…in every way…for every thing!
I guess, though, this time has saddened me somewhat. Or maybe it’s more that I’m pensive. Solemn and reflective. All that is in my life now, besides my family, is my writing. That which I do in obedience to the Lord’s calling.
I think the one thing that I would like others to say about me is this: She loved the Lord and followed Him in obedience. What else is there?
So, I ask you: What would you like for others to say about you when you leave this world?
Hooking up with…