The Story of Her Existence

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Woman at window
She tells me the story of her life.

I listen.

She talks.

I write.

She says she lives in a hole. A figurative hole, but a hole nonetheless.

Some days, she says clouds of discouragement roll in, casting shadows over her life. On sunny days, hope makes a temporary visit.

Some days, she flies a kite of joy in a gentle breeze; some days, a whirlwind sucks the kite out of her hands, taking joy with it…and hope.

She draws close, leaning in to tell me more of her meager existence. She tells me…

*of her lack of purpose
*of her lonely days and lonelier nights
*of the lack of laughter and finding enjoyment
*of how so many things have been taken from her
*of the starkness, the lack of necessities in her life.

She reveals how her financial and physical woes have tempted her to opt out of this earth’s existence, to move on to heaven’s hearth. But she rejects the nudge to opt out, for she desires to opt in with Christ, to be ALL IN, as another friend Heather Mertens says. ALL IN in Christ and Christ ALL IN in her.

She looks out the window of her home, sighing that it may not be hers much longer. The window is her view to the world outside her hole.

She speaks of the gentle, summer breezes fanning the leaves, green leaves ready at autumn’s starting gate to offer colors of warm amber, fiery crimson, and brassy orange. She knows the bareness of coming winter will be the canvas for spring’s life and beauty once again. She sees the changing seasons as her life.

She divulges how she strains to hear the Lord’s whispers. And how, when she hears His voice, she smiles as He rejuvenates her soul with His presence, with His loving words of comfort and encouragement. She expresses her hope that tomorrow the sun will rise again and bring with it new mercies for the day.

All in her struggles to hold on, yet, is alive and well. No matter what things look like, she holds on. And no matter how her body aches, no matter how threatening the surrounding circumstances, she rests and slowly smiles again, knowing God is in control.

Though she may lack in earthly goods, still she basks in heavenly abundance. Though her peace may wane, the Lord’s peace rises within her. Though weakness occurs, the Lord’s strength still supports her.

And she raises her hands, and her heart, toward heaven, to sing and praise the Lord, as grateful tears stream down her cheeks.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.
Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.
But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
(John 16:33 NLT)

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  1. says

    No words can describe the beauty of complete ALL IN trust in the Father… But you share a glimpse of it so eloquently here, Lynn. I have felt as she has. He showed me hope and then healing. Healing does not all look the same but it is all from the same loving Father.

    Thank you for sharing my heart to live ALL IN here, Lynn. I think the times especially add to that call for us all to get ALL IN.

    • says

      Oh, my yes, Heather! I so agree…the times do call for ALL IN. Thank you for allowing me to mention you. And thank you for your kind words. You’ve blessed my heart with encouragement. Bless you!

  2. Vicki says

    Oh My Lord! This is ME..right where I am now! I am no longer to stay where I am at after this month..have no funds for dinner (groceries) but have spent $1 for either pasta or oatmeal canisters because that will feed me for at least 3 days dinner! I have prayed and felt unheard..yet I KNOW HE hears ALL! I have considered just going HOME to HIM..but know only HE has the right to say WHEN my time has come. My fear of the Lord is what keeps me here only!!
    This touched me to the core because it showed me others know exactly where I am!! Thank you for having the courage to write the truth of some of us that love God, that are HIS yet still struggle so desperately!

    • says

      Oh, sweetie, I am in tears. Bless your heart! This makes my heart ache. I know several people like this and it so hurts me that, at this time, I cannot help anyone. I am a giver and when I cannot help, it crushes me. I’m so glad you were able to read this. The Lord has had me working on this for a while and now was the times to post it. I will be praying for you. Please keep me posted how you’re doing. May the Lord bless you with whatever you need…but mostly with His presence. xoxox

  3. mary gemmill says

    Timely past dear Lynn…I like what you and Heather are saying and I am going to get ALL IN with Abba to get through this current rough patch. I have things in better perspective after reading about this lady who has things much tougher than me.
    The way you and Heather use that phrase: ALL IN…makes it memorable and I am grateful to have a new tool to use in my battling.

  4. says

    Such a tender post, sweet Lynn. Thank you for the encouragement for those who are struggling in so many different areas of their life.
    Praying for you and sending gentle hugs.

  5. says

    Hi Lynn,
    First, I must say that you write Beautifully! I could feel this poor woman’s pain through your words, but also because I know how it is to have such feelings.
    Second, this is a very timely post as I find myself in a state of flux and confusion as well. But I know HE is with me and all is working according to HIS plan, so I must be patient and Trust In HIM. I’ve also learned to Give Praise for All Things, no matter what they are or how big or small they may be. Miracles happen when we Praise and Thank HIM! :)
    Third, you say you’re a giving person and it bothers you when you can’t — but you are still giving to those of us who need to be reminded of HIS Word and HIS Promises.

    Thank You, Sweet Soul. Thank You,
    James G. Davis

    • says

      Oh, my! James, I’m overwhelmed! You have truly blessed me today and filled my encouragement tank! Thank you so much! I’m sorry for your rough times but I know the Lord is working things out for you. And I so agree. I have learned as you to trust and be patient, to be thankful for all things and give God praise. Miracles DO indeed happen when we praise Him! Praying the Lord blesses you outrageously! 😀

  6. says

    Hi Lynn – I have scheduled to feature this post on the Ruby blog for Monday, September 8. Please let me know if you have something you would rather have me promote. Trying to get all of September lined up and ready to go! Thanks for sharing your heart and the words God has given you with all of our readers. Much love my friend, Nina

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